For Honor and Happiness we all fall
by midnight darkness2012
Summary: Kagome just wants a normal life, to date, to go to college, what happens when the jewel is completely finished, will she have what she desparately wants? or will she stay to be with someone to give them happiness?
1. Chapter 1

Kagome was turning 21 years old today, she was still on the hunt for the jewel shards. She had taken some time off from the hunt her senior year so she could graduate with honors and hopefully get a scholarship for school. Of course her friends in the feudal era couldn't really attend her graduation but Inuyasha was there and Kagome's mother took enough pictures so she could give them to her friends in the feudal era. Kagome and Inuyasha became like brother and sister because Kagome was smart enough to notice every time Inuyasha looked at her she was Kikyo in his eyes and she wanted to mean so much more to someone than a mirrored image of someone else.

_~I'll find someone, I'm sure, there's always someone out there, and it was just a childish crush, yeah, I'll be good, there are other fish in the sea.~ _Kagome feeling a bit depressed as she sat around the campfire. She glanced over at Inuyasha and Kikyo being close, then her eyes fluttered over to Miroku groping Sango's ass and Sango yelling at him and slapping him hard leaving a mark on his face. Kagome smirked as her eyes twinkled in the glow of the fire with unshed tears,

"I think I'm going back to the hot spring, my muscles are still a little sore," Kagome slowly standing up.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Sango asked,

"I'll be fine, I can take care of myself thanks to you and Kaede teaching me," Kagome smirking.

"Okay," Sango shrugs, Shippo turned back to watch Kagome leave,

_~Momma, what's got you so upset?~ _Shippo smelling her sadness, Inuyasha glanced at Shippo and then Kagome, watching her disappear from their sight. Shippo looked at Inuyasha, it was like Inuyasha was reading Shippo's mind and he nodded, Shippo followed Kagome but hid his aura. Once Kagome got to the hot spring she slowly stripped down and stepped in.

_~Its not fair, every one of my friends has their other half, their soul mate but why not me, I haven't done anything wrong, I've helped everyone I've come in contact with, don't I deserve someone too?~ _Kagome letting out a somberly tired sigh. She rested her arms on the rocks surrounding the hot spring and laid her head on them,

_~I wish I could just have a normal life like any other 21 year old, guess everyone forgot my birthday, Happy Birthday Kagome.~ _Kagome thinking to herself. Too lost in her thoughts she didn't scent or hear the large snake demon slithering up behind her. As she turned around the snake was ready to strike her, to sink its fangs into her head but she grabbed the snake's body and forced her purification power into her hands and the snake exploded, but that wasn't all that was coming down on her, a fanged sword was gracefully swinging down, she caught the blade between her hands and still had her powers flowing out of them which sent whoever wielded the blade back into some trees. Kagome got out, sensing the snake's jewel fragment and she found it before the snake's guts could put themselves together again. Now she put the fragment in the vile around her neck along with the rest and got back into the water to wash the guts off of her.

"Miko," a deep cool baritone voice growled out behind her, she suddenly stopped cleaning herself, a picture of the certain fanged sword coming down on her in slow motion ran through her mind.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I'm sorry, I guess I don't know my own strength," Kagome turning around to glance up at him.

"You have grown more powerful, miko," Sesshomaru's forehead bleeding a little.

"Oh god, you're bleeding, if you come back to the camp I can fix it for you Kagome seriously.

"This Sesshomaru does not need your medicines, why are you not with your group miko?" Sesshomaru walking over to a nearby tree and sitting against it.

"I…um," Kagome not really wanting to tell him,

"This Sesshomaru does not repeat himself," Sesshomaru having his eyes closed. Kagome got upset with his attitude,

"Its not your concern," Kagome turning her back to him,

"Do you not wish to be with your so called family on such an occasion?" Sesshomaru asked coolly.

"What's so special about today?" Kagome shrugged acting as if it was just another night in the feudal era.

"It is the day you were born, this Sesshomaru believes it was 21 winters ago," Sesshomaru cracking his eyes open, Kagome was shocked that he of all demons would know of such a date, he had more important things to remember.

"Why would a high and mighty, all powerful lord remember such an insignificant date, don't you have better, more important dates to remember?" Kagome a bit angrily, if the all mighty ice lord of the Western lands could remember her birthday why couldn't her friends?

"I'm sorry, thank you Lord Sesshomaru, you are the only one that has remembered my birthday this year it seems," Kagome sighed as she rested her head against her folded arms on the stone siding of the hot spring,

"It seems as if my so called family are too involved with one another to even remember," Kagome staring up at the stars. Sesshomaru just listened to her,

"Sometimes I wish I was just a normal human, live a normal life, go to school, graduate high school, get to actually use the nice scholarship I got for graduating with high honors, not stuck here, watching Sango and Miroku, Inuyasha and Kikyo have a lovey dovey sort of things going on at night," Kagome glancing at him.

"You are responsible for your companion's happiness, they chose to follow you because of the character you are," Sesshomaru closing his eyes,

"Lord Sesshomaru…don't you want a mate, a family, someone to be by your side throughout you prolonged life, I mean you must get lonely sometimes?" Kagome wanting to know his view on family,

"This Sesshomaru keeps busy, there is constantly something to do, he does not have but one reason to have a mate, he needs his lineage to carry on," Sesshomaru stoically explained in a monotone voice.

"I've never even had the chance to court I guess is your term for it," Kagome sighed as she picked the invisible dirt out from underneath her nails. Sesshomaru held out a nice little and long skinny wooden box for her, Kagome glanced at it,

"What is it?" Kagome asked,

"It is from Rin, she wanted to get you a gift to honor the day you were born," Sesshomaru coolly explained.

"But you paid for it," Kagome slowly taking the pretty carved box from him, slowly she slid it open, she gasped, inside was a bracelet with different little sliver charms on it, one a little girl, another a castle, another a large dog charm, she laughed a little and cried,

"You had Totosai make this, didn't you?" Kagome glancing up at him,

"Rin ordered him to create the charms…" Sesshomaru being interrupted,

"So I would never forget you guys," Kagome crying.

"Cease your cries," Sesshomaru stoically and coldly,

"I'm sorry, its just, it's the best gift I've ever gotten, can you latch it on my wrist, please?" Kagome drying her face, Sesshomaru latched it on her wrist, being careful not to scratch her with his claws.

"Thank you Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome softly,

"It was Rin's gift to you, now, you must come, Rin has fallen ill," Lord Sesshomaru standing,

"What, why didn't you tell me sooner," Kagome jumping out and drying off, she was about to put her jeans back on when he held out another package for her, this one wrapped in fur and bound with a leather string.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Kagome confused,

"It is a gift from this Sesshomaru, the half breed does not dress you properly for this weather," Sesshomaru watching her carefully open the square fluffy package, Kagome unwrapped the package and found a beautiful thick purple-pink kimono with a white fur, almost like his.

"Lord Sesshomaru, this…its gorgeous, I cant accept this, this must have cost you a fortune and if I wore it on my travels it would get torn to shreds and stained with blood," Kagome seriously.

"You will accept it and wear it," Sesshomaru lowly as he hovered over her,

"Don't you have better things to spend your money on?" Kagome trying to put the confusing attire on. Sesshomaru helped her put it on and grabbed her waist and took off to his castle.


	2. Rin's Illness

**Rin's Illness**

Sesshomaru collapsed with Kagome in his arms,

"Lord Sesshomaru!" the guards falling to his side. Kagome wiggled free,

"Back off," Kagome pushing the guards off of Sesshomaru, Kagome checked him out,

"He's sweating up a storm, labored breathing, get him up and to the healers now!" Kagome ordered,

"Rin," Sesshomaru growled out,

"I've got her, don't worry about her," Kagome following them into the castle. She ran to Rin's room and swung open the door,

"Move, what are the symptoms she has?" Kagome asked.

"Coughing, but there's blood that she is spitting up, she has a high fever and cold chills, we don't know what else to do," the healer explained,

"Alright, here's what you are going to do, you're going to wrap her up tightly, in five blankets, wrap her whole body but give her enough room to breath outside air, I need some paper and a pen, after all this is done you will bring her outside where I will be waiting with Ah-Un, move, hurry up!" Kagome running out. She went outside and called for Ah-Un, he landed outside the castle,

"I need you to get me and Rin to Inuyasha's forest and fast, her life depends on it," Kagome seriously. Ah-Un nodded,

"Where is your saddle?" Kagome asked, Ah-Un led her to the stable, he nodded to the saddle, she threw it on their back and strapped it down good,

"Come on, I have to get Rin," Kagome leading him back to the castle, the healer waited outside with Rin and a scroll and a pen. Kagome jumped in the saddle, Kagome grabbed Rin who was a bundle of blankets and the healer put the scroll and pen in the saddle bags.

"Come on Ah-Un fly," Kagome encouraged them, Kagome turned around,

"I'm sending Miko Kaede to help Sesshomaru, go, wait for her arrival, she is not to be harmed," Kagome shouted.

"Hai," the healer bowing, Kagome held tightly to Rin,

"Just hang on Rin, you're going to be okay, you cant leave us," Kagome cried, knowing it was too late to try and save her, but she had to do everything in her power. Soon they were by the well,

"Good boys, I need you to do one more thing, I need you to go to Edo, find Kaede, make her read this scroll, take her to Sesshomaru, and hurry," Kagome putting the scroll and pen back in the saddlebag, she gave the heads of the dragon a pat each.

"Thanks Ah-Un," Kagome jumping into the well and disappearing, Ah-Un raced off to do his other mission. In the modern era Kagome climbed out of the well with Rin, and ran and grabbed the keys to her mom's car and raced to the hospital with Rin. When she got Rin to the hospital,

"Can somebody help me? I have a little girl and she is in trouble," Kagome cried out. A doctor came rushing over, he saw blood everywhere,

"This way, I need a team right now!" the doctor screamed out,

"She's having cold chills, coughing up blood, and a high temperature, I think she might have T.B," Kagome warned.

"It seems that way, you need to be tested and sterilized, you may have it as well, we will check her out," the doctor rushing off. Kagome closed her eyes,

_~Fight Rin, please, fight this.~ _Kagome letting tears slide down her face.

"Miss, we need to test you and get you cleaned up," the nurse explained, Kagome nodded, the nurse took her, stripped her of her beautiful kimono and fur, she knew what would happen to them, they were on their way to be burned. She stared at her TB test, she slowly laid back on the bed,

_~Please God, Rin is just a child, she has a good life with Lord Sesshomaru, don't take her yet, please, she has done no wrong, all she wants is to be with him, please don't take her from us yet.~ _Kagome praying silently.

"Miss, we tested the clothes you wore, they came back negative, so you may have them back, but we are going to treat you for T.B. since you have been around her, its an antidote but can only be given in the early stages, so if the child you brought in does have it, there's nothing we can do," the nurse explained. Kagome nodded,

"I'm sorry," the nurse giving Kagome the antidote,

"Can you tell the doctor to come in here when he is done, I need to know how she is," Kagome seriously.

"Of course, are you family?" the nurse asked,

"Yes, we are cousins, when I found her, her mother was dead and I found her in the way I brought her here," Kagome seriously.

"Her name is Rin," Kagome hanging her head,

"I'm sorry, things like this, its not easy," the nurse stopping at the doorway. Kagome glanced at the nurse, the nurse nodded and left the room, a couple of hours later a doctor came in Kagome's room, she was asleep. The doctor woke her,

"Ms. Higurashi?" the doctor getting her attention.

"How is she?" Kagome asked,

"She has it, she doesn't have long, a couple of hours, but we checked your blood, you don't have it, the nurse gave you the antidote that keeps you from catching it, you are free to leave and put your clothes back on, I'll wait for you outside your room, I'll take you to Rin," the doctor explained.

"Okay, hey doctor, do you think some kind of raw poison would knock it out of the bloodstream?" Kagome asked,

"If it was some kind of raw, pure poison, mot deluded, yes, but that kind of poison would not only flush it out of her system but it would kill her instantly, I'm sorry," the doctor leaving the room. Kagome threw her kimono and fur on and ran out,

"Show me where she is," Kagome keeping calm, she knew now what she would do, what she had to do, even if it killed her.


	3. Devastated

**Meanwhile…**

Kaede had found the letter that Kagome had left in Ah-Un's saddlebag.

"Oh my, hang on, I have to get some things," Kaede moving into her hut and gathering her herbs, she had learned about demons as she had plenty of human years and she was a curious human so she knew a lot about demons and healing them, so she gathered everything up and put them in the saddlebag and Ah-Un laid down so the old woman could get on. They flew to the castle, once they got there the old woman shook,

"Ye are too fast, never, never again," the Kaede getting her herbs out.

"Miko Kaede, I presume," the guards asked.

"Yes, how is the lord doing?" Kaede asked,

"He's weak but whatever it is has left his system, come," the guard showing her in.

"I need hot water to mix a healing herb for him, its to give his energy back to him, hurry now," Kaede strongly, the guard showed her to the kitchen, there she worked quickly with the demon chef fixing her herbal medicines for Lord Sesshomaru.

"Take me to your lord," Kaede seriously,

"Hai, milady, what do these herbs do? They are very potent," the chef leading her to Sesshomaru's chambers. Kaede found him in his bed lying down,

"Lord Sesshomaru, I have come per Kagome's request, I am here to give you your strength back, I believe Kagome will need your help," Kaede explained.

"Where is Kagome and Rin?" Sesshomaru lowly,

"She took Rin to her time, to try to and get her better medicine, but Kagome explained in a letter she left me that Rin may have a disease that there is no cure for and will die from, you need to be on your feet as soon as you can," Kaede explained, she got some of the medicine on her fingers and was about to apply it to his chest, but he grabbed her wrist, it wasn't a powerful grasp, but a grasp none of the less.

"What is that?" Sesshomaru softly asked,

"Very strong medicine to remove any remaining illness from your body, I have to apply it to your chest," Kaede explained. He released her wrist and nodded, she rubbed it on his chest, he clinched his eyes shut and growled a little.

"This medicine is foul tasting," Sesshomaru tasting the stuff that she had rubbed on his chest, since it was so powerful it had soaked into his chest and into his mouth, Kaede had a cup in her hand,

"I need you to swallow this down, this will give you strength and make you sleep without interruptions, but you will need to take it easy still and don't overdo it," Kaede waiting for him to sit up, the chef helped him. Sesshomaru growled at him,

"Just trying to help milord," the chef backing away, Sesshomaru slowly took the cup and his hand shook as he drank it all down.

"I will stay, then in the morning we will leave for Edo, we will both ride Ah-Un to Edo," Kaede explained, Sesshomaru was dizzy and starting to black out. The chef got him more comfortable and pulled the fur blankets over him,

"I guess his poison in his system is fighting this illness off," Kaede assumed,

"That's what we all were thinking, I hope Rin is going to be okay, for our lord's sake, it is clear he cares very deeply for her, would you like some food?" the chef asked.

"Please," Kaede getting up, she followed him down to the kitchen to watch him cook,

"That little girl will break Kagome and Sesshomaru's heart, Kagome explained it was a human disease called T.B. that if any human should catch it they are doomed, its incurable," Kaede explained to the chef.

"Unless you have poison in your system to knock it out, like our lord, yokais as strong as we are and our lord should not be able to catch any human disease, but our lord has been sitting up with the little girl and watching over her constantly so I think he wore himself down and that's how he caught it," the chef explained.

"How long has this been going on?" Kaede asked,

"About two weeks, he didn't do anything because the healers didn't think it was a bad cold, that it would pass, he does not always like to call on the miko every time she is sick," the chef explained as he cooked.

"He does not like accepting any kind of help, he is above it," Kaede softly,

"Hai," the chef nodded, the rest of the night was quiet and somber.

Morning

Kaede woke up and considered it the best night's sleep that he had ever gotten. She dressed and went to see Sesshomaru, she slowly entered his room, finding him trying to put on his metal protection but it weighed him down making him stumble.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I told you that you need to take it easy, you cant wear your protection, come, we need to go," Kaede helping him out of the room.

"Old woman, this Sesshomaru can make it on his own," Sesshomaru growled out,

"Then come, Kagome might already be back," Kaede seriously. Sesshomaru walked out of the castle leading the way, Ah-Un was waiting for them, they laid down so their passengers could get on.

"Fly Ah-Un to Edo quick," Sesshomaru ordered gruffly, Ah-Un flew off to Edo. A couple hours later Ah-Un landed, Kaede got of and quickly moved to her hut, inside, was a letter. Kaede read the letter, she quickly moved out of the hut,

"She is in Inuyasha's Forest, in a nearby cave, Lord Sesshomaru, Kagome, she…" Kaede having the letter seized out of her hand, Lord Sesshomaru read the letter;

"_Tell Lord Sesshomaru I am taking Rin's illness inside my own body, he will have to poison my bloodstream but it should save Rin's life since she will be free from the illness," _

_~Stupid miko, she cares too much for others that she is willing to die.~ _Sesshomaru thought.

"To Inuyasha's Forest," Sesshomaru urged the dragon, they flew to the forest, when he smelt death he glanced up at the cave that was hidden very well. Ah-Un flew past the vines that covered the entrance to the cave, Sesshomaru got down off the dragon and walked deep into the cave, there he found them, Rin laying in new blankets but he knew by the scent of the little human child she was at death's doorstep.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Rin mumbled, he sat down, he cradled her in his lap,

"Rin," Sesshomaru softly,

"You have to help Lady Kagome, she says if you poison her bloodstream her miko powers will fight with the poison, it will flush the illness out of her," Rin sounding exhausted.

"This Sesshomaru will honor your request," Sesshomaru strongly,

"She took care of both of us daddy, now its your turn to take care of her, I love you daddy," Rin giving him a tired smile.

"This Sesshomaru loves you as well Rin, sleep with the angels princess," Lord Sesshomaru watching her little frail body give up the long fight. Slowly he laid Rin down, he looked to Kagome and narrowed his eyes at her,

_~The miko brought the sickness to herself because she knew how much that little girl meant to you, she was your happiness, she wanted you to be happy.~ _the beast inside him explained.

_~She is a great miko indeed and she belongs in this world to find her own happiness.~ _Sesshomaru moving over to her,

"Kagome," Sesshomaru strongly.

"Lord Sesshomaru?" Kagome's eyes fluttering open and closed,

"Rest," Lord Sesshomaru pricking her wrist, inserting his poison through her bloodstream. He got Rin up and placed her on Ah-Un, then went back and got Kagome, he sat Kagome and had laid Rin both in front of him on Ah-Un, Ah-Un could tell what happen, scenting the little girl who had given them their names was on her last ride home on him, he knew his lord was devastated by the pain his lord was in, all of it brought tears to their eyes as they all made the trip home.


	4. She will live

When Sesshomaru made it to his castle his servants came running out, they had all cared for the very spirited little girl and they all bowed in honor of her little body.

"Milord, where would you like for us to lay her?" the servants asked sobbing as they held her little body,

"She will have a Inu Taisho ceremony, out in the lower gardens," Sesshomaru strongly, he had held her in his life as his own, so she would have a ceremony fit for his family name and honor.

"Of course milord," the servants moving to lay her in the cooler to preserve her body till Lord Sesshomaru was back to his own strength.

"This Sesshomaru carries the miko who carries the illness that she took of her own free will from Rin's body, she saved Rin's life, Rin's body was exhausted from the fight of the illness, you all will watch over her as she is to be treated as an equal in this house," Sesshomaru carrying her inside. The guards gently took Kagome out of Lord Sesshomaru's arms,

"Her room is to be by my chamber, her changes in her health should be reported every three hours," Sesshomaru commanded,

"She is to be watched over, do not apply medical attention, my poison courses through her blood, if any problems should present themselves you will notify this Sesshomaru immediately, each of the healers will take shifts, different healer every hour on the hour, she needs batherd, dressed in light clothing and heavy blankets, you are not to exhaust yourselves on the miko, first and foremost take care of the miko and second a kitchen staff to prepare food for the both of us, that is the only concerns and duties from here on," Sesshomaru going to his chamber. He slowly peeled his outer attire off, then sat on the bed, he held his head, his heart hurt like someone had shoved a sword through it. His door opened,

"Milord, Miko Kaede left some of the herbal drink she made for you earlier, I heated it up for you, you should drink it, right now your mind will not let you rest easy," the chef giving him the cup, Sesshomaru nodded and took the cup, he sat it down as he got under the covers and got comfortable he swallowed the potent drink in one swallow, he laid his head on his pillow and closed his eyes, a single tear leaked out as he passed out. In the middle of the night Kagome had been running a high fever, the watcher at the time was keeping a cold cloth on her face, trying to keep her fever down. All of a sudden she let out a scream, Lord Sesshomaru woke, he was out of his chambers and in her room in a second flat. He found her writhing in pain,

"What's wrong with her?" Sesshomaru roared,

"Milord, she has a high fever, she has been having it for five hours now," the healer explained,

"Rin, Lord…" Kagome mumbled.

"This Sesshomaru is here Kagome, rest," Sesshomaru pulling a chair up by the bed,

"It burns," Kagome moaned,

"It is the price you pay for having poison running through your bloodstream, he did not give you a large amount of poison," Sesshomaru explained.

"How is Rin?" Kagome whispered in pain,

"Do not concern yourself with her right now, you concentrate on fighting for your human life," Sesshomaru lowly.

"Milord, her fever has broke, she should be getting it all out of her system any moment now," the healer holding a bucket up for her, another healer helped her sit up, Kagome started convulsing and threw up blood, a lot of blood.

"Milord, its best if you leave the room before you catch this again," the healer explained,

"This Sesshomaru is staying, this miko has done everything in her power for him, it is his turn to do everything in his power to help her," Sesshomaru growled out. Kagome was leaning back against the healer,

"Go Lord Sesshomaru, please I don't want you to catch this again," Kagome closing her eyes,

"You haven't gotten enough sleep, your immune system still needs time…" Kagome passing out. Sesshomaru knew she was right but he couldn't shake the feeling with everything he had seen, been through, and heard within the past two days that he felt weak, yes, he was a powerful demon and a powerful lord but he couldn't help Rin who he had to watch suffer and then she died in his arms, now he couldn't help the miko who had basically killed herself to give him the little human girl he had adopted, who he had allowed himself to love and get close to, as he stood in the doorway he thought back to Rin's last request;

"_Take care of her, she took care of us, its her turn to be cared for," _Rin's voice echo in his head.

_~This Sesshomaru will get his strength back, he will honor Rin's last request.~ _Sesshomaru thought as he slowly walked back to his chambers.

* * *

**In Edo**

Kaede was trying to take her mind off of Kagome and Rin who was deathly ill. Inuyasha and the rest of Kagome's family came barging in.

"Where's Kagome?" Inuyasha snapped, Kaede looked at them,

"She's trying to help Rin, this was the last letter she gave us," Kaede letting them read it.

"And we forgot her birthday," Shippo crying, Inuyasha felt horrible already for being too busy giving Kikyo all of his attention that he forgot the most important day of Kagome's life, Sango, Miroku, and even Shippo had felt like crap, they were family and best of friends. Sango cried into Miroku's shoulder, Inuyasha got angry all of sudden, he crumbled up the letter,

_~Stupid wench, she has to have a big heart and care for everyone she comes across, what the hell does she get out of it?~ _Inuyasha running out the door, he would find this cave, he would get to the bottom of all this crap. Inuyasha ran through the forest, he smelt the faint scent of death fading,

_~The little girl my half brother kept as a pet died.~ _Inuyasha staring up at the cave. The wind shifted and a new scent caught him, Kagome's scent with a powerful smell of poison and a hint of death.

"Sesshomaru," Inuyasha growled out, he bound his way toward the castle in the western lands.

_~If Kagome dies I'll torture you till your last breathe, Sesshomaru.~ _Inuyasha growled. Three hours later he stood outside his bastard of a brother's palace,

"He has Kagome in there, get his ass out here!" Inuyasha shouted. Sesshomaru had just fallen back to sleep when his half breed half brother dared to show his sorry ass, his eyes slowly opened and stared at the ceiling.

_~Never a moment of silence anymore, so he dare show up now?~ _Sesshomaru thought as he slowly sat up,

_~Go and talk to him now and get it over with or you'll never get any sleep.~ _the beast explained. Sesshomaru slowly got up, he walked down the hall,

"Milord, you asked for a report, the miko is free of the illness, it seems as she is fighting against the poison now," the healer explained.

"Is there any methods of drawing the remaining poison from her body?" Sesshomaru asked.

"Milord, I am sorry there is nothing we have that can fight off your strength of poison, all we can do is use the batch of herbal tea the old woman made for you, to help her sleep and let her miko powers fight allowing her strength to come back," the healer explained.

"That was only meant for demons, it would be too strong for her, do you have anything to make her sleep for a human?" Sesshomaru getting irritated,

"We do have something that we gave Rin to make her sleep during the time she had chicken pox but it knocked her out for three days, there is no way to know how long it would knock her out," the healer explained.

"Give her the same amount you gave…" Sesshomaru hesitating,

"Of course milord," the healer softly. Sesshomaru frowned, he hadn't really thought of her since she died, he couldn't bare to tell Kagome the truth because he knew she cared a lot for Rin if not the same way he had cared for Rin, she was already dealing with enough. Finally he made it out to the gates where the annoying half breed waited.

"What is it that you want little brother?" Sesshomaru lowly,

"I want to see Kagome!" Inuyasha growled out,

"You can not see her now, she is recovering from a disease that kills humans, you are half human, do not worry little brother, when her body has been given enough time to heal this Sesshomaru shall return her to the old miko, until such time you will leave the western lands and not return," Sesshomaru lowly growled,

"If you harm her in any way you will pray for a swift death," Inuyasha harshly barked out.

"This Sesshomaru is trying to save your stupid wench," Sesshomaru turning to walk away,

"You are right about one thing, she is a stupid wench for caring for every sick puppy instead of herself but I have mated Kikyo already," Inuyasha huffed.

"That would be why you and her so called friends forgot about the day she was born, 21 winters ago," Sesshomaru turning to look out of the corner of his eye, then kept walking back into his castle. Inuyasha growled but his bastard of half brother knew the truth to why they all had forgot about her birthday, the one day of the year that was supposed to have been all about her. Sesshomaru checked on Kagome, he smelt her and indeed she didn't smell of death and illness anymore but he could tell her miko powers were fighting the battle against his deadly poison.

"I have given her the medicine milord, now we wait, to see if her body will hold up," the healer knowing the lord cared for this human as well…in his own sick, twisted way, and to lose her in this battle would make his lord go back inside himself and build the walls back up around his heart never to let anything break them down again.

"Her body should hold up, she has not had the illness as long as Rin and she is a very powerful miko, her body will hold up," Sesshomaru feeling hungry, he went down and had the chef cook him up something. He then went to his hot spring and relaxed.


	5. Just an equal nothing more

Meanwhile in Edo Inuyasha was just making it into the village he had a lot of rage he had pushed himself back to Edo in an hour ½.

"Inuyasha, where did you go?" Sango noticing he was in an ill mood. Inuyasha growled more deeply than he had ever done around the traveling gang. Shippo ran and hid behind Sango,

"That. Bastard. Has. Kagome," Inuyasha lowly spoke hiding in his bangs, Sango stood suddenly,

"Ye, calm yourselves children, Lord Sesshomaru has done what Kagome has asked, she is a bright child, she knew if she took away the sickness from little Rin that her miko powers would fight the illness and Lord Sesshomaru only poisoned her to clean her system out and she figured her miko powers would fight off his poison, she will be okay," Kaede explained.

"Rin is dead," Inuyasha harshly. Kaede frowned,

"Her body was already wore out from trying to fight the illness off," Kaede sadly.

"Poor little girl," Sango thinking of how she had seen her brother slain in front of her eyes,

"You have to wonder how Lord Sesshomaru is taking all of this, sure he always wears that emotionless expression on his face but I'm sure he was attached to her in some way," Miroku softly.

"Yes of course, I suppose Kagome does not know of little Rin either, she will be so heart broken, she cared for her as if Rin was her own," Kaede softly.

"I shall say a prayer for Kagome, Lord Sesshomaru and little Rin," Miroku bowing his head, everyone even Inuyasha himself bowed his head as Miroku chanted a little prayer, everyone else said a silent prayer for them as well.

* * *

**Three days later**

Sesshomaru had gotten his full strength back on the third day. Now he stood watching and waiting for the miko to come out of her state of dreamland. Kagome's convulsions had stopped, she had a little color returning to her body but her lips weren't the lushes pinkish-red as they used to be, they were still pale as death. Sesshomaru watched the rise and fall of her chest,

_~You realize if she dies at this point it will be your poison that kills her.~ _Sesshomaru growled at his beast. Night had started to set in, a maid came in,

"Milord, would you wish to eat now?" the maid asked.

"No, have dinner prepared for Lady Kagome," Sesshomaru standing by the window and surveying his lands.

"Of course milord," the maid bowing and leaving, for the first time after Rin's death he found the castle more bland, he had expected the child to come running in to ask if Kagome was going to be okay but he turned to the door and just stared, waiting for her to come running in.

"Rin is dead, isn't she?" a groggy voice piercing his thoughts,

"Yes, Lady Kagome, Rin's sickness exhausted her human body, by the time you pulled the sickness into your own body her body was too exhausted to live," Sesshomaru lowly.

"Lord Sesshomaru, I'm so sorry," Kagome crying,

"Lady Kagome, you saved Rin from the illness, you did what this Sesshomaru ordered you to do," Sesshomaru not looking at her,

"If I had saved her milord, she would be here alive," Kagome having trouble breathing through her tears. Sesshomaru moved over to Kagome,

"Kagome, you need to calm yourself, you have been through hell enough today," Sesshomaru stoically. Kagome nodded,

"I'm sorry Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome softly,

"Kagome you did everything in your power even as far as dying for her, you have nothing to be sorry for," Lord Sesshomaru sitting on the edge of her bed. Suddenly he started growling lowly,

"This Sesshomaru…appreciates what you have done for him and Rin," Sesshomaru growled out. Kagome thought she was hearing things,

"Are you thanking me for my services?" Kagome confused,

"Yes, do not get used to it, you are an equal to this Sesshomaru for trying to take care of her and himself, this Sesshomaru has food arriving to this room, you shall eat, gain your strength, we will stand together and bid Rin our farewells," Sesshomaru's voice soft.

"Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome softly,

"It will arrive shortly," Sesshomaru standing tall and stoic as he turned cold once again.

"If I am your equal, you can talk to me freely anytime about anything, you're not alone in this, everyone in this castle lost Rin, even Ah-Un, but I loved Rin just as much as you did, we will always love her, and if we ever do talk, it will stay between us," Kagome softly. Lord Sesshomaru stared at Kagome, for once she could see all the pain he was trying to deal with.

"It helps if you actually talk about it too," Kagome softly, Lord Sesshomaru jerked around, and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

_~Whoa, slow down, she was just trying to be nice, she does understand how it feels, she lost Rin also.~_ his beast trying to calm him.

_~She saw me in a weak state, never again, this Sesshomaru is to take care of her now, and still she wants to help this Sesshomaru, she will never see this weakness again.~_ Sesshomaru roared inside.

_~You explained to her that she was your equal.~ _the beast explained,

_~Being this Sesshomaru's equal does not mean we are friends, this Sesshomaru will not care the way he cared for Rin for another weak human, this Sesshomaru will protect the miko but he will not house the miko nor tell her of his feelings of loneliness or discuss Rin with her.~ _Sesshomaru growled as he walked down to the kitchen. Kagome knew he was pissed that she had seen him in pain,

_~It shows he really did care for Rin, I guess those walls of cold will be rebuilt in no time, at least maybe she brought him a little bit of happiness.~_ Kagome feeling sorry for Lord Sesshomaru but she couldn't shake the feeling that she was at fault for him losing all his happiness in his life. A knock interrupted her thoughts,

"Enter," her voice still being a little scratchy.

"Milady, Lord Sesshomaru had requested that you eat all the food that we have made for you," the maid sitting the plater on the table by the bed,

"I request that he eats as well and gets a good night's sleep, if you guys have anything that would help him sleep I request that he takes," Kagome seriously as the maid helped her sit up. The maid sat the bed tray on her lap and removed the lid, Kagome smelt the home cooked food and smiled a little.

"Please tell the chef that I love him for cooking this, its my favorite dish," Kagome smirked, she and the chef got along well, she had spent many times in the castle, taking care of Rin every time she was sick and she showed the chef many new dishes that human children loved to eat.

"Yes of course milady," the maid bowing,

"Is there any chance I can get you all to stop that and call me Kagome, you know I don't like such titles," Kagome explained.

"I'm sorry milady, you are an equal to our lord, thank you for everything you did for them from the bottom of all our hearts," the maid explained.

"I loved Rin and I always will, and I wanted to help both of them because Rin was the only human Lord Sesshomaru seemed at peace with, and Lord Sesshomaru was cherished by that little girl, I know Lord Sesshomaru is a really rough demon at times but he deserved a little peace in his life and even a little happiness, but I couldn't save her for him, no matter how hard I tried," Kagome frowned. Lord Sesshomaru was in his hot spring trying to relax, but he heard everything Kagome and the maid had said.

"Lady Kagome, you have a big heart, and a very caring soul, you laid down your life for Rin like any mother would for their child, you tried everything in your power to save her, that counts for something, besides I think the lord is grateful for you being alive at least he did not lose the both of you," the maid explained.

"Lord Sesshomaru barely tolerates me, he wouldn't care if I died in the process, and none of us will ever lose Rin, she lives forever in our hearts and memories, to those who choose to keep her there, she was the only one to remember my birthday this year and got me a pretty charm bracelet, the fact she remembered my birthday at all brighten my day, she had these charms made so I would not forget her or Lord Sesshomaru, the truth is who could forget the ray of sunshine and happiness she gave us all?" Kagome smiling as tears ran down her face.

"Milady, you are so right, you are very wise about things, now I must leave to finish the request you have made," the maid wiping her own face.

"Thank you," Kagome nodded in a bow form,

"You are welcome milady," the maid bowing and leaving the room.

_~The miko should be listened to, she is right, you will hold Rin forever with you.~ _the beast strongly. A lone tear finally graced his pained expression face,

_~Rin will never be forgotten, there will be a shrine placed in the gardens for her.~ _Sesshomaru thought as he splashed away any evidence of his sadness. A few minutes later he dried off and got dressed, he sat on the bed and held his head, a knock came rapping on his door.

"Enter," Sesshomaru lowly, a maid came in and brought food,

"There was a request for you to eat and a request to finish off the herbal drink Lady Kaede had left for you milord," the maid explained,

"Who had this requested?" Sesshomaru asked,

"You know who requested it milord, it was the miko, she knows you are in pain," the maid softly, he growled,

"This Sesshomaru does not need her to know he is in pain, he vowed to Rin he would take care of Lady Kagome for taking care of the both of us, that is what this Sesshomaru tends to do," Sesshomaru growled out.

"Well milord, you should know Kagome by now, she always cares more for others than herself, and she does not know how to be selfish, she has a big heart and a very caring soul," the maid explained, Sesshomaru roared, he knew where she was going with this,

"No, this Sesshomaru will not take a human mate, he will not become his father in any way," Sesshomaru growled lowly,

"Milord, you already see her as an equal…" the maid being cut off,

"Being this Sesshomaru's equal means he holds respect for her and will protect her at all cost, it does not mean that she is this Sesshomaru's so called friend, nor a potential mate," Sesshomaru bit out a little louder. The maid saw the look in his eyes, that look of cold as ice coming in loud and clear, the walls around his heart reconstructing themselves as fast as they could.

"You act like you are the only one that lost her, we all lost her, we cared a lot about her, you never spent any real time with her! Kagome was like a mother to her, the only mother she ever knew, she hurts just as much as you do, so don't you dare hurt her," the maid harshly. Sesshomaru liked this maid, she had been around since he was a pup, she always had straighten him out when he was out of line, and this was one of those times,

"Hn," Sesshomaru growled, he took the food and ate it, he drank the herbal drink and fell asleep, he didn't like that she always pointed out that he was out of line, or that he was wrong or what he should or should not do.


	6. An Inu Ceremony

**Hey fellow fans, sorry its so sad because rin died and all but she does have another part in this story and by the way, just because Sesshomaru is showing that he cares and his pain to Kagome, does not mean he is in love with Kagome at least not yet. it will be a long while before he finds love with Kagome. **

**A week later **

Inuyasha and the gang were getting restless,

"I hope Kagome is okay," Sango worriedly and a hint of sadness in her voice,

"If she isn't that bastard is going to be slaughtered and his precious palace is going to be burned to the ground," Inuyasha growled out.

"Ye children, calm yourselves, if Kagome was dead there would have been some kind of message sent to us already," Kaede strongly. There was a knock outside on the side of the hut, everyone jumped up,

"Calm down, sit," Kaede ordered, Kaede slipped out of the hut, there stood a guard and Ah-Un, he handed her a letter. She shook as she unwrapped the letter, she slowly read the letter, she busted out crying, she quickly headed inside and gave the letter to Sango,

"No, she cant be," Sango busted out crying, she cried into Miroku's chest, Miroku took the letter from Kaede and read it,

"Sango, she's not dead, she's okay, she says she'll see us in a couple of weeks," Miroku smirking, Inuyasha read it, Shippo jumped up on his shoulder to read it too,

"Momma's okay," Shippo yelled, Inuyasha's ears flatted on his head, he grabbed Shippo's neck and strangled him,

"Stop yellin' in my ear!" Inuyasha shouted.

"Both of you stop, Kagome is alive that's all that matters," Sango smiling through her tears.

"We can go get gifts and have a really big party for her because we forgot her birthday," Shippo jumping up and down.

"Well we do have two weeks to plan for it," Kaede thought out loud, Inuyasha had felt guilty for forgetting her birthday but of course he still thought they had wasted enough time since they were without a jewel detector the whole time Kagome was sick,

"We need to search for the jewel shards, we cant throw a party, its another day we lose," Inuyasha shouted.

"Inuyasha, you don't feel even the slightest bit guilty for missing her birthday, do you? I swear Lord Sesshomaru is looking at more concerned for Kagome than you are right now, after all he has been caring for her this whole time, he could have left her for dead in that cave but he didn't, we are going to have a party for her, she is family and we are too wound up in other things and other people that we neglected her on the most important day of her life," Sango shot out. Inuyasha huffed and ran out of the hut and off to the forest to sulk in a tree.

* * *

**An Inu Ceremony **

Kagome had gained half of her strength back, she was moved to another room, farther down the hall from Lord Sesshomaru's room away from the rooms that held the human sickness. Sesshomaru also moved to another room, his father's chambers to be exact, he had placed Kagome in the room that his biological mother had stayed in while his father had courted her, but he had no clue about it. Some servants thought that Sesshomaru had moved rooms because both rooms that had held sickness in them were surrounding his room and he didn't want to catch the sickness again but the smart ones knew it was because of Rin, the memories were stronger in that wing of the castle and it was something that their lord wasn't ready to accept, that the little girl he had brought back to life once and the little girl that had never feared him was not going to be running down the halls or messing with Jaken, which by the way had not been seen since then because his lord was squashing him every minute of the day. Today was the day they would all bring Rin to the gardens for her ceremony. The servants had dressed Rin in Sesshomaru's and his father's colors, white and red patterned kimono and she had a white fur just as if she were a real Inu, the servants took her to the memorial stone table Lord Sesshomaru had ordered to be made and they laid her frail but beautiful body on the table. Kagome watched from her room, a few tears sliding down her face as she stood in the same attire, white with red patterned kimono with a fresh white fur shape tail. There came a knock on the door,

"Enter," she strongly replied, knowing it was the lord who she had overheard saying they weren't friends that he just respected her as his equal.

"It is time," Lord Sesshomaru stoically, Kagome walked out of her room, he had offered his arm to her to be escorted down to the gardens but she denied him, and swiftly walked down through the maze of hallways and corridors and all he saw was the tail like fur flowing in the breeze behind her.

_~The miko is upset about something, perhaps she heard you talking the other night about not being her friend? Perhaps that is why she has not spoken to us since?~ _the beast assumed.

_~The walls are made of stone and the doors are made of thick oak, there is no way she could have heard this Sesshomaru talking.~_ Sesshomaru thought, it did annoy him that she had disrespected him in his own home by not accepting his offer to escort her down to the gardens.

_~Perhaps it would not hurt to be friends with the miko, she has done a lot for us.~ _the beast thought.

_~This Sesshomaru is already repaying the miko enough, there shall be no friendship between us, but this Sesshomaru will allow her to call us her ally.~ _Sesshomaru slowly walking out to the garden. Everyone was gathered around, there were offerings of sorts laying on Rin's body, Kagome was lying two roses on Rin's body when he walked up beside her and laid a moon flower that was in bloom since it was night and the full moon hung above illuminating her body. Sesshomaru kissed her forehead,

"Sleep with the angels my Inu princess," Sesshomaru whispered and pulled away to stand by Kagome. She glanced up at him, he could feel her eyes boring holes in him, he glanced at her turning his head to look at her, he could still scent his poison running through her veins it wasn't much to hurt her, the guard tried to hand Lord Sesshomaru the torch to burn Rin body as he wanted to do in honor of his family, a new tradition he wanted to do but he couldn't bare to harm her body even if she wasn't alive anymore, Kagome reached out for it and took it, she shook, knowing she really didn't have the heart but she wanted to do it for Sesshomaru and for Rin in honor of the Inu family, slowly she breathed in and out.

_~Help her, she doesn't want to do this anymore than you do, but we have to move on, cant you see she is still trying so hard to honor us and to please us?~_ his beast explained. Slowly Sesshomaru walked up beside her and placed his only hand on top of hers, minding his claws, and shakily together set fire to the straw hay that lay underneath Rin's body.

"Kagome, you can let the wooden torch go now," Sesshomaru lowly, she glanced up at him and then back at the wooden torch, slowly she released it. They all stood there together, watching the fire consume the little girl, Kagome glanced around, everyone had someone to cry together with, or hold their hand through it but again she felt like she didn't belong, but suddenly something sweaty and clammy grabbed her hand, she looked down to see a certain pair of claws, she glance up the arm till she found the owner, it was the stoic lord himself, he held his mask of indifference on his face and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, he gently squeezed her hand, she smirked a little, but tears freely rolled down her moonlit and firelit cheeks, she turned her head to glance up at the full moon,

"I love you Rin," Kagome softly mumbled out. Kagome hung her head, she could stop herself from what happened next, she flung her arms around Sesshomaru's waist and cried her heart out, Sesshomaru being shell shocked, it took him a minute or two but he placed his single arm around her, not really trying at all to comfort her, he wouldn't dare get close to another soul as long as he lived. Kagome didn't think about anything but Rin,

"I'm so sorry milord," Kagome sobbed out,

"Lady Kagome you did nothing wrong," Sesshomaru lifting her chin up to make sure she saw the truth of his words through his eyes. They stood till the fire died down, Kagome had exhausted herself from crying all over Sesshomaru, the servants offered to carry her to her room but he lifted her up in his arm and moved past the servants and back into the castle. As he was laying Kagome down she woke up,

"Lord Sesshomaru, why cant we be friends?" Kagome mumbled,

"This Sesshomaru is to be called an ally," Lord Sesshomaru stoically.

"Its because you cant imagine having friends or getting close to anyone right now isn't it?" Kagome asked. Lord Sesshomaru didn't say word,

"About that down there, I'm sorry I cried on you, its just I miss Rin so much and I feel as if I have no one, I feel like I don't even have my friends anymore, they seem as if they are in their own little world with each other lately," Kagome still upset over Rin.

"Lady Kagome, why do you cry if you know she is in a better place and she will always be with you?" Sesshomaru confused.

"Just because she isn't here physically doesn't mean I don't miss her and it does kill me that I feel like I took the world from you, you had Rin, I mean sure she wasn't a mate for you but you had someone to at least call a daughter and she talked to you and kept you entertained, I don't have anyone like that, at least lately, even Shippo seems in his own little world, I know I'm not Rin nor would I try to replace her but I could be your companion, I'm sure I could entertain you in some way," Kagome sitting up in the bed.

"When we leave to return you to the elder miko this Sesshomaru will become apart of your group, and before we leave the castle this Sesshomaru is holding a ceremony for you, since you have shown your true strength to this Sesshomaru, he has deemed you strong, that of an Inu blood, you will become Inu before you leave," Lord Sesshomaru strongly.

"What does that entail milord?" Kagome yawning,

"You shall use the hot spring tonight to soak your stress away and rest, you are still weak," Sesshomaru explained as he walked toward the door.

"Lord Sesshomaru, the offer still stands if you ever want to talk," Kagome softly, he glanced at her,

"This Sesshomaru does not talk about his feelings, he wasn't trained in those ways but he appreciates your concern," Sesshomaru leaving the room.


	7. The strength of an Inu

The next few days Kagome and Sesshomaru were quiet and Sesshomaru avoid her most of the time till breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Finally Kagome glanced up at him at dinner,

"You have been avoiding me, I know that much but I don't understand why," Kagome staring at him.

"It is none of your concern," Sesshomaru staring at his plate,

"I get it now, I've seen you in pain over Rin, you think your weak because of it, you are so strong and powerful milord, just because you show your feelings to your loved ones does not mean you are weak, it is the only way your loved ones know how you feel about them," Kagome seriously. Sesshomaru growled, a second later he had her pinned to the dining hall stone wall.

"If this Sesshomaru is so strong and powerful then why could he not save Rin, why could he not do more for you when you carried the illness?" Sesshomaru's grip getting tighter around her neck.

"Because diseases are stronger than anything in this world, there are some things in this world that overpower even the strongest demon in this world, as the future progresses you will know I am right," Kagome choked out. Sesshomaru stared and inhaled her scent as his nostrils flared out, he could tell she was telling the truth. Sesshomaru growled and dropped her to the floor and walked away. Kagome knew now he had just as much guilt as she harbored, she didn't hold it against him that he had gotten angry with her, he hurt and it was more painful than she thought he was feeling.

"I'm sorry Sesshomaru," Kagome glancing at the plate of food that Sesshomaru had not touched. Slowly Kagome made her way to her room, she grabbed her history book and headed to the study. Once she was there she went to the chapter that talked about the wars in Japan and the bombs, she found an empty scroll and a pen. She began to write a letter to Sesshomaru warning him about what was to come, when she finished writing the letter she tore it off the scroll and started underlining dates and special keywords in her old history book.

_~Please Sesshomaru, don't let your honor bring you down.~ _Kagome closing her eyes. Suddenly she heard a howl piercing the night air,

"Sesshomaru," Kagome hearing the sadness in his howling, she ran down the hall, past the maids and guards who were all warning her that Sesshomaru would rip her apart in his true form. Kagome didn't care, he was in pain and she was going to be there for him. She ran out to the gardens and found him standing on his hind legs in his true demon form, a huge dog with red eyes.

_~He's beautiful!~ _Kagome really taking the time to look at him. Slowly she approached him, staying within his line of vision so he didn't think she was going to hurt him. He growled trying to scare her off,

"Lord Sesshomaru, you don't scare me, I'm here for you, I know you hurt, I hurt just as you do," Kagome slowly moving toward him, again he growled, but surprisingly she didn't smell of fear. She came face to face with him as the servants watched, the guards watched ready to run in to save Kagome if they had to, the huge dog glanced at the guards,

"Lord Sesshomaru, hey look at me not them, its just me and you, you don't always have to be strong, some things we cant stop from happening, we both did everything in our powers to save Rin but it still wasn't enough, we have to accept it sooner or later," Kagome's eyes shining with tears, Sesshomaru raised his large head to the moon and howled again. Kagome took a few more steps and when his head came down she rubbed his forehead.

"No one understands what you are going through but me, we'll be okay, I have your back, and Rin is always watching over us, you need some sleep, please Sesshomaru, shh, I've got you, its okay," Kagome still rubbing his forehead, he whined, slowly he laid his head down in Kagome's lap. Kagome finally let her tears fall as she petted his head,

"We still have each other, I've always got your back," Kagome laying her head down on his neck and rubbing his fur. Sesshomaru whined and cried some more,

"Shh," Kagome soothingly, she started to hum softly to try and soothe him, after a while it started to work, he seemed to purr. Every one of the servants and guards were stunned, one by one the servants left for their duties, except for the maid that had took care of him since he was a pup, Airi, she smirked a little but she was sadden because she knew this was a rare thing that would never happen again. A few hours passed, the huge dog slowly transformed into Lord Sesshomaru, his humanoid form, he sensed Kagome was dead to the world, she had sung herself to sleep and himself for a little while, he removed his head from her lap and carried her into her room. Airi stared at him giving him an angrily look.

"If that does not show you that she cares for you then you are blind," Airi huffed out,

"This Sesshomaru is not blind but he refuses to get close to anyone else," Sesshomaru growled and bit out.

"Milord…" the bat demon being interrupted,

"Leave this Sesshomaru alone, you old bat," Sesshomaru slamming his chamber door in her face.

* * *

**The Inu strength test**

The day came, the day before Sesshomaru and Kagome would leave for Edo. Today was the day for Kagome's ceremony, the servants dressed her in the white and red patterned kimono she had wore to Rin's ceremony and fixed her hair and make-up, she would be receiving her mokomoko, her real fur tail thing today. Slowly she stepped out of her and walked to the council room, the maid announced her, Kagome walked in, she stood in front of the head council. He walked around, sniffing her, he smiled,

"You are a miko, not just any miko, but the jewel protector, I have to see your strength for myself, come, we shall do this out in the field," the council leading the way. Sesshomaru growled and stood in the way,

"Lord Sesshomaru if she is as strong as you say she is she will be fine, step aside," the head council lowly. Sesshomaru glanced at Kagome, he step aside, Kagome glanced up,

"I'll be alright," Kagome seriously. They all walked outside, a demon grabbed Sesshomaru up, he wasn't aloud to fight, she ran after the demon and got her hands on the demon and forced her powers into her hands, a bright pinkish-green light was thrown into the demon's body, turning it to ash,

"She holds his poison in her body without dying, very interesting," the head council rubbing his chin. Kagome was making sure Sesshomaru was alright,

"She seems to care for her alpha male, hmm," the head council giving Kagome the bow and arrows, she threw the arrows on her shoulder, she could feel the aura of the demon, she was immediately on guard with a ready arrow. The demon was advancing on Sesshomaru, Kagome found an opening and took it, the arrow whizzed by Sesshomaru's ear and hit the mark of a huge snake.

"Now the sword, hand to hand combat with the strongest demon here," the head council seriously, Kagome glanced at Sesshomaru thinking that she had to fight him,

"I do not own a sword," Kagome seriously, Sesshomaru tossed her a sword, she caught it,

"Your alpha male had it made for you from…" the head council being interrupted,

"From one of his fangs," Kagome surprised,

"It is yours as long as you pass this last test, you will fight all three councils myself included," the head council lunging at her, she flipped over him and came down with her sword on the other council. She swirled and twirled, doing movements the council had never seen before, after an hours time she held two swords, one under the head council's chin and another under the other council's chin, the last council was trying to ran her in the back, she bent her back where she was looking at the council advancing on her.

"Stop!" Kagome shouted, her power being forced out of her mouth and knocking the council a good 20 ft back. She was out of breathe but she had defeated them all. Sesshomaru was stunned, but held his emotions inside, Kagome held her swords on the councils till they told her that she had passed. They all came back to the council meeting room.

"Now you will give your alpha male a gift, one that means something to you, that shows that you value him and his life," the head council explained.

"I'll have to get it its in the study," Kagome explained,

"Very well, you may retrieve the gift," the head council nodded. Kagome walked out of the room and retrieved the gift, when she came back the head council was preparing for the rest of the ceremony.

"A book, why do you choose a book?" the head council asked,

"It is not your concern all you need to know it will save my alpha male's life one day if he reads it, I also have another gift I will like to bestow on my alpha male," Kagome explained,

"Do so now," the head council replied, she looked to Sesshomaru,

"Will you roll your sleeve of your missing limb up?" Kagome asked, he nodded, he rolled his sleeve up, she looked to him to silently ask if she could touch him, he nodded, she slowly moved her hands up to the nub he had left of his arm, feeling of the lay out of his muscles and veins, she closed her eyes and concentrated on repairing his arm, he felt a tingle and a burn, but he kept quiet, she slowly moved her hands around the repairing arm as if she were helping every little muscle and bone and vein find the right place it belonged, finally her hand rested on his newly repaired hand, slowly she opened her eyes. She stared at his arm, she glanced up at him and gave him an exhausted smile, the head council gasped,

"My, you are unique, young one, Lord Sesshomaru, do you accept these gifts?" the head council asked, Lord Sesshomaru glanced down at Kagome,

"Yes," Lord Sesshomaru flexing his new fingers.

"Now the alpha male will present his gifts," the head council explained. Lord Sesshomaru placed the mokomoke on her shoulder then in his clawed hand he held the fanged sword.

"Kneel, young one," Sesshomaru coolly, Kagome swayed as she kneeled down, he touched her shoulder with her sword,

"I, Lord Sesshomaru, take this miko Kagome Inu as his pack member and vow to protect her life at all cost," Sesshomaru vowed.

"Rise, Inu Kagome," the head council ordered, she rose and stared at Sesshomaru.

"Kneel my alpha male," Kagome having her sword in her hand, the head council was confused but curious, he nodded to Sesshomaru and Sesshomaru kneeled down.

"As my alpha male has deemed me strong as an Inu, I, Kagome Higurashi vow to take Lord Sesshomaru as my alpha male, honoring him, and protecting him at all cost from this day forward," Kagome touching his shoulder with her new fanged sword. The head council smiled big,

"Now the mark of the family house of moon, Lord Sesshomaru," the head council holding out something, Lord Sesshomaru took the marking and pressed it into her forehead, sealing it with a kiss on the mark, she passed out immediately. He caught her and held her,

"It is completed, you have a loyal pack member Lord Sesshomaru, I've never seen a pack member vow to protect their alpha male before, she is quite opposite from you, take care of her well," the head council and the other council members leaving. Lord Sesshomaru was surprised as well, he found it quite entertaining.

_~When will this Sesshomaru ever need to be protected by a miko Inu pup?~ _Sesshomaru looking at her, he left the room and put Kagome to bed. Before he left her room he slowly pushed her bangs aside to find her crescent moon marking glowing pink and outlined in a hint of green since she carried his poison in her veins still.

_~She is a wise and strong miko Inu, don't underestimate what she can do.~ _the beast seriously.

_~She has shown this Sesshomaru much strength today.~ _Sesshomaru thought then left her room. He went back and got her sword and the book she had given him. He went to her room and laid the sheathed sword by her bed, as he left her room a maid was walking by,

"You will undress the miko, bath her and put her in comfortable sleep clothing, leave her mokomoko on her bed tonight," Sesshomaru ordered.

"Hai milord, shall I send word you are ready for dinner?" the maid asked.

"Yes, tell them this Sesshomaru will be in the study," Sesshomaru having the strange book in his hand as he walked away. When he entered in the study he walked over to the large fireplace and sat down on the custom. He flipped open the book where the letter was and read the letter;

_Lord Sesshomaru,_

_I don't know when you will read this but I pray you will heed the warnings in this book. This book is the true history of wars to come. There are some things even demons can not make it through alive. Please read this chapter, gather food and things you wish to keep and find a deep cave to hide in. Please don't let your pride and honor become the death of you, I consider you my friend and if it is not too much trouble, can you please let Koga and his pack stay in this cave too, he is my friend as well. When this occurs Sango and Miroku will probably be gone already but if Kilala and Shippo are still around and your half brother is still alive, please, please let them stay. You will have to go far deep in the cave so nothing can harm you. Please do this, as there is no records of demons roaming around in the modern era. It would be nice to have friendly faces in the future. _

_Take care milord, _

_Kagome _

_~Hn, why would this Sesshomaru hide from war, he fights with pride and if he dies in battle it will be an honor.~_ Sesshomaru seriously thought.

_~What about Kagome though, if it would please her to see us live to reach her future we should consider it since she did everything in her power to please us in trying to keep Rin from dying.~ _his beast serious.

_~This Sesshomaru does nothing to please any human any longer.~ _Sesshomaru growled,

_~What about for Rin, she did explain it was Kagome's turn to be taken care of, are you not going to fulfill her last request?~ _the beast asked.

_~If Kagome saves this Sesshomaru's life in this era, he will heed her warnings and fulfill her requests, that is the only way.~ _Sesshomaru thought.

_~Like that weak miko could ever save anyone as strong as you.~ _the beast leaving him alone.

_~Precisely.~ _Sesshomaru thought as he read the chapter in the strange book and looked at the pictures.


	8. Night Terrors

**An Inu's Nightmare**

Sesshomaru finally laid down on his bed, he rolled over and fell asleep. In his dreamland his castle was surrounded by humans with loud popping noises that hurt his ears, he watched as his strongest guards dropped like flies, his barricade was falling and the humans were advancing on his castle, a few minutes later he was standing in his chambers and fighting the humans with his poisonous whips but a couple of loud pops piercing his ear drums and he started to fall to the ground, he could feel his life draining out of him and he hadn't even got to kill any of the humans. Sesshomaru growled in his sleep and he jerked up and found himself tangled in his furs.

_~Damn that book, it was just a dream.~ _Sesshomaru untangled himself and decided that a nice dip in the hot spring would relax his nerves. Slowly he removed his sleepwear and stepped into his private hot spring. He settled himself as he felt his nerves being soothed by the natural hot water, and nodded off. Again he had a dream, he was out in his lands when he heard the same popping going off, only more quickly, one after another, 1000 in just seconds followed by louder pops. When he got the clearing he found humans fighting humans and some demons. Kouga was there with his pack, he went down in seconds, there was the other lords, the lord of the North and lord of the South, they too didn't stand a chance, they fell like they were mere flies. Then Sesshomaru saw a large mushroom cloud off in the distance, and invisible wave quickly caught him off guard making him fall to the ground onto his back, he burned all over like he was being purified by a powerful miko, he held his hand up, all his skin was gone. Sesshomaru jerked up,

_~This Sesshomaru hasn't ever had night terrors since he was a pup, what is going on?~ _Sesshomaru growled. For the rest of the night he was restless.

* * *

**Morning**

Kagome woke in the afternoon with something furry moving across her under the covers, she jerked up and jumped out of bed, she found a fur slinking across her bed. She let out an ear piercing screech. Lord Sesshomaru was in her room in a flash,

"Inu Kagome, what is the matter with you, are you harmed in any way?" Sesshomaru questioned stoically.

"T-this t-thing, it's alive!" Kagome still freaking out, his eyes gleamed with laughter, but his stoic stone mask perfectly held in place,

"Yes, it's a mokomoko, you are technically an Inu now, it is apart of your person, Inus such as my true form have four paws, a muzzle and a tail, mokomoko is a tail, it will keep you warm and protect your body if it feels you are in danger," Sesshomaru's eyes still holding his laughter. Kagome glared at him,

"What are you laughing about? You think this is funny, me waking up to something furry under my covers, trying to feel me up? I had no idea what the hell that thing was, perverted mokomoko," Kagome talking to the fur.

"This Sesshomaru did not do such a human thing," Sesshomaru growled,

"No but your eyes gave you away that you were laughing to yourself," Kagome stalking over to her bed and crawling under the furs,

"Lady Kagome, your book brought this Sesshomaru night terrors," Sesshomaru moving and sitting on the edge of her bed.

"What about?" Kagome asked,

"The first dream this Sesshomaru was overran with humans and their loud pop guns, he tried to fight them off with his poisonous whips but seconds later he was on the floor dying, what are those things?" Sesshomaru confused.

"They are called guns, its future technology, they produce little round pieces of metal that are called bullets, which do real damage if you are hit by one, no matter if you are the most powerful full blooded demon there is, what was the other dream you had?" Kagome asked.

"This Sesshomaru was on his lands in the forest patrolling when he hears the same pop guns, a lot more and louder pops like explosions and when he comes to the clearing he sees humans fighting each other and other strong lords like himself are fighting as well, however they just dropped like flies, then off in the distant lands he sees a strange cloud and then an unseen wave knocks him flat on his back, and he burns like a powerful miko had just purified his whole body," Sesshomaru stoically explained. Kagome explained it all to him slowly and clearly,

"It's all real Lord Sesshomaru I'm not trying to give you night terrors, it really did happen, or will happen your future, technology and the people behind the technology are smart, they wiped out a lot of people, and I'm sure a lot of demons as well, I know you want to fight them, its because of your honor and pride, but please, just listen to me and let me save your life, I couldn't save Rin but please let me at least save you?" Kagome bawling.

"This Sesshomaru has to think these things through, get ready, we shall eat lunch and leave for the elder miko's village," Sesshomaru turning to leave,

"My head is pounding, do we have anything for the pain?" Kagome sobbed, Sesshomaru walked back over to her, he moved her bangs out of the way. Her mark was a little red as if it was a fresh tattoo she had just gotten done,

"Your mark will be sore for a couple of days, I shall see if the healers have medicine for your head, now get dressed in your family kimono," Sesshomaru throwing the kimono she wore for Rin's ceremony on her bed, he left the room.

_~I wonder if this mark gives me any of his powers or a Inu's power, maybe I should ask him about it.~ _Kagome thought as she began to carefully pull the fur off her, she laid it on the bed,

"Now be good," Kagome talking to the fur, she put her kimono on, but she couldn't tie it, she stood there for at least ten minutes trying to tie it. There was a knock on the door,

"Enter," Kagome strongly,

"Lady Kagome, what takes you so long?" Sesshomaru scenting her frustration,

"I cant, I don't know how to tie this thing," Kagome frustrated as she held it closed,

"Calm yourself pup, it is nothing to get all worked up over," Sesshomaru coming in and shutting the door.

"Sorry, I just, I don't know if I really want to go back to them, I mean they have each other, they seem to be happy, its not like they miss me," Kagome shrugged.

"You are not alone, remember this Sesshomaru is your alpha male," Sesshomaru tying the kimono,

"Its completely different than that of what I had with my friends," Kagome glancing at his new arm. Sesshomaru rumble in his chest, he took great offence to her statement, she was his pack member, didn't that mean that she should think it was more than her relationship with her friends? He had poured his feelings out for Rin, and she had been there to see it, did that not show he cared and had feelings?

"This Sesshomaru is very grateful for the gifts you have bestowed on him," Sesshomaru raising her chin,

"I didn't think I was worthy of a fanged sword, thank you for your gifts as well, but I don't understand why would I be able to have the strength to wield a fanged sword," Kagome confused,

"You are of family of the House of Moon, you are an inu, and you should know you still carry a bit of my poison in your body," Sesshomaru explained coolly,

"Should my miko powers not cancel it out, like purify it from my body?" Kagome confused,

"Perhaps in time, but it does not seem to be purifying it out, what it is left seems to be a strong string of poison," Sesshomaru stoically.

"Oh, so, does your arm hurt?" Kagome asked, staring at his new found hand,

"No, it is fine," Sesshomaru finishing tying her kimono,

"Lord Sesshomaru, the mark, does it hold power?" Kagome asked.

"The power comes from within, you have already found the power it holds," Sesshomaru moving to pick her mokomoko up off the bed, it slinked away and to the floor, slithering up Kagome's leg and attaching itself to her shoulder.

"It appears your mokomoko has connected with you during the night, only you will be able to handle it now, come, lunch is getting cold," Sesshomaru escorting her down to the dining hall.


	9. Guilt

A few hours later Sesshomaru found Kagome by Rin's shrine,

"I miss you so much Rin, I'll protect him as best I can, I promise," Kagome giving the shrine a small beaded bracelet.

"It is time to leave Lady Kagome," Sesshomaru stoically as he held Ah-Un's reins, she nodded,

"I wont forget you Rin, ever," Kagome bowing, she walked towards Sesshomaru,

"I'm ready," Kagome softly. Sesshomaru took her yellow bag and put it in Ah-Un's saddle bag, she made to get on Ah-Un.

"You are to fly with this Sesshomaru," Sesshomaru holding her waist, Kagome stared at him,

"This Sesshomaru has seen your strength Lady Kagome, you will be able to face your pack, do not worry," Sesshomaru holding her close, Kagome's head still hurt, slowly she leaned against his unarmored chest and fell asleep. Sesshomaru glanced down at her.

_~She has given you everything, and she almost gave with her life, she is strong enough to defeat Naraku on her own, you should make her your own after the fight.~ _his beast strongly.

_~Only if she manages to save this Sesshomaru and I would not count on that happening.~ _Sesshomaru thought.

_~Kagome does not belong in this time era, she wishes to go home and get a good education, it would be selfish of this Sesshomaru to ask her to stay with him.~ _Sesshomaru glancing down at her.

_~When have we not been selfish, when have we not done something that benefited us in return?~ _his beast asked, Sesshomaru chose not to answer his beast and the rest of the trip was silent.

* * *

**A Day Later**

Sesshomaru touched down by the sacred well,

_~This well only holds the power for her, although my half brother can travel through it.~ _Sesshomaru eying the well as he and Ah-Un passed by. Kagome was still asleep when they reached the village, Inuyasha was the first to pop out seen as he scented them.

"What the hell have you done to Kagome?" Inuyasha shouting his mouth out with his hand on his sword,

"Be quiet little brother, Lady Kagome is asleep," Sesshomaru walking past the half breed.

"Lady, since when do you refer her to a Lady….you better not have mated with her!" Inuyasha getting very pissed off. Sesshomaru entered the hut and was surrounded by her pack,

"Lord Sesshomaru, thank you for caring for Kagome," Miroku bowing.

"Here, lay her down on the cot here," the old miko explained,

"I suppose Rin did not survive?" the old woman asked even though she already knew from the earlier message that she hadn't survived,

"Her ashes are in the gardens in a shrine," Sesshomaru laying Kagome down, Kagome felt the strong arms letting her go and the forest green and summer rain scent move further away, she had thought they were still flying so she grabbed out for the strong arms.

"Lady Kagome, you are safe, open your eyes," Sesshomaru holding still, Kagome's friend's eyes widened at his words. Kagome's grip tightened on his arms,

"Inu Kagome, open your eyes at once," Sesshomaru strongly, Kagome shot up and their heads collided.

"Ouch," Kagome still gripping his arms,

"Inu, you are on land now, this Sesshomaru would never drop his pack," Sesshomaru stoically, he waited as Kagome looked around, when she finally noticed she was among her friends in the hut she slowly let his arms go, he moved to sit on the bed, he brushed her hair back, her mark was still a little red,

"How does your head feel?" Sesshomaru strongly asked.

"Still a little sore," Kagome rubbing her forehead, he licked the marking, Kagome closed her eyes it made her feel a little drowsy. He caught her before she had time to swoon back,

"You shall rest, tomorrow we will set out for the jewel shards," Sesshomaru laying her gently on the cot. Her mokomoko swirled around her till it was protecting her head.

"Lord Sesshomaru, may we ask why our friend wears the House of Moon marking on her forehead?" Miroku asked, Shippo bounced over to Kagome, he snuggled up close to her, she slowly wrapped her arms protectively around him.

"She is an Inu now, she has proven her strength as an Inu and she has become this Sesshomaru's pack member, for what she did for Rin," Sesshomaru covering her up.

"So you didn't mate with her?" Sango narrowing her eyes at him,

"No slayer, your friend took the sickness that drained Rin's body into her own, she almost lost her life trying to give this Sesshomaru Rin back to him and for that reason alone this Sesshomaru deemed her worthy enough to become his pack member," Sesshomaru stoically explained. Sango stared at him,

_~He has changed, a lot, Kagome, you've done the impossible, I guess you really do have the magic touch.~ _Sango thought to herself. Later on that night Kaede started a fire Sesshomaru went hunting and brought back a boar,

"Nicely done Lord Sesshomaru," Miroku giving him a compliment, he gave it to him and walked into the hut and checked on Kagome.

"You should let her sleep till the dinner is ready," Kaede explained,

"This Sesshomaru was merely checking on his pack," Sesshomaru growled.

"I understand, Kagome has done everything in her power for you and Rin," Kaede explained.

"Yes, this Sesshomaru plans to make sure nothing harms her," Sesshomaru strongly. Once the meat was cooked Lord Sesshomaru woke Kagome and gave her the first stick of meat, he then took his stick and rest followed. After eating Kagome and Sango went and bathed together,

"So, a lot has happened," Sango nervously,

"Yeah, I guess so," Kagome playing with her bracelet.

"That's pretty, who gave that to you?" Sango asked,

"Lord Sesshomaru gave it to me but only because Rin had the sword Totosai forge it," Kagome softly.

"I'm sorry about what happened to Rin," Sango frowned,

"I tried so hard to save her, I even took her to my time to try to help her but they said it was too late, then I figured if I could bring the disease into my body with my miko powers it should work, but Sango, she was so weak," Kagome cried. Sango held her sister and comforted her as she cried. Sesshomaru felt the stress and sadness, pouring off Kagome,

_~She cries over our lost pup, she feels helpless, she couldn't save Rin.~ _his beast explained to Sesshomaru.

_~She may carry that burden for the rest of her human life, though it is not her fault.~ _Sesshomaru strongly thought.

_~You should tell her it was not her fault tonight and also tell her that you appreciate what she went through to try and save Rin, and be sincere about it.~ _his beast suggested.

_~This Sesshomaru has already done so, why would he desire to do so again.~ _Sesshomaru thought,

_~It is you that asked of her help to save Rin so it is you that involved her into it in the first place.~ _his beast seriously explained.

_~So I will tell her again tonight.~ _Sesshomaru thought,

_~It may take a few more times of telling her until she stops blaming herself.~ _his beast reminded him.

_~Of course, humans can not let go of things such as this.~_ Sesshomaru thought. After Kagome and Sango had come back to the hut the group fell asleep one by one. Sesshomaru sat up in the floor next to Kagome's cot, Kagome was tired from crying but she couldn't sleep,

"Inu Kagome, this Sesshomaru does not hold you guilty for Rin's death, you should not blame yourself for this either," Sesshomaru strongly.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save her, I know she meant the world to you," Kagome softly, he lifted his clawed finger to her lips,

"You did everything in your power to save her, it is what makes this Sesshomaru proud to call you apart of his family, you saw her as if she were your own pup, you will be a fine mother to pups one day," Sesshomaru's beady golden amber eyes staring her down.

"That is if I ever find someone," Kagome shrugs,

"Rin allowed me to be a mother to her, I accepted her as my own just as I accepted Shippo, if I gave her some bit of happiness and love then I can smile through the pain, and by the gift she had made for me I think I did bring her joy and love to her spirited little heart," Kagome letting a few tears slide down her face but she smirked as she played with the charms.

"She always thought of you and begged this Sesshomaru on occasions to bring her to you," Sesshomaru strongly as he wiped away her tears with his knuckle. Kagome smiled,

"I miss her, but no matter what I am doing or where I am, I wont ever forget about her, or the castle, or the demon lord who took her in and raised her as his pup," Kagome laying down.

"This Sesshomaru will never forget about the human miko whose heart was broken by the lord's half breed half brother but still was so pure and kind to others, who even stood strong against the demon lord when others trembled in fear, go to sleep inu miko," Sesshomaru lowly. Kagome stared at him till she fell asleep.


	10. First in counter

**Morning Came**

Kagome was the last one to be woke up, by none other than;

"Hey wench, wake up already! We still have to find the rest of the jewels!" Inuyasha shouted.

"Inuyasha….sit boy!" Kagome growled out as she slowly sat up, he hit the floor and fell through the floor and made the Inuyasha crater in the ground, the same one he always left when he said or did something to piss Kagome off. Sesshomaru was laughing to himself on the inside,

_~Serves him right for treating her like he does.~ _Sesshomaru huffed at the crater sized hole in the floor of Kaede's hut. Kagome groaned and rubbed her face,

"Your breakfast is getting cold, Inu Kagome," Sesshomaru handing her breakfast to her,

"Why didn't you wake me?" Kagome mad,

"This Sesshomaru tried but you started trying to purify him," Sesshomaru showing her the burn marks on his wrists. Kagome stared at the marks that she had made that were slowly healing,

"I'm so sorry Lord Sesshomaru, I didn't realize," Kagome's words fading away, she remembered what she was dreaming now, it was more of a real bad vision than a dream.

"Is there something bothering you pup?" Sesshomaru still holding onto the plate of food for her,

"No, its nothing, just a bad dream is all," Kagome trying to get away from telling him what it was about.

"Do you think this Sesshomaru is as dumb as the half breed, there is something that bothers you deeply, this Sesshomaru can scent the deceit pouring from your body," Sesshomaru lowly.

"It's nothing, I'm fine, really milord," Kagome staring down at her plate in his clawed hand, she tried to take it away, but he had a firm grip on it,

"You will tell this Sesshomaru so he can try to rectify the thing that is responsible for scaring you," Sesshomaru explained more lowly than before.

"You cannot stop it, I have to, I am the only one that can," Kagome looking away. Sesshomaru was highly confused and so was everyone else that was listening quietly. Kagome slowly stood up,

"I'm not hungry, we should head out," Kagome seriously as her mokomoko wrapped around her.

"Inu miko, you will eat, we will not leave until you have ate your breakfast," Sesshomaru strongly. Inuyasha stood in the doorway,

"And who made ya the leader of this group? Get one thing straight ya bastard, I am the leader of this group," Inuyasha shouted out.

"Inuyasha, I swear if you start a fight at any point in time with Lord Sesshomaru, I will S-I-T you so hard it will take you the rest of your life to dig out of the ground, got it, good!" Kagome spelling it out for him. Sesshomaru had Inuyasha by the throat and lifting him up in the air,

"You will do as I say, I am the alpha male in this group and if you don't accept it you may go off with the dead clay whore," Sesshomaru throwing him outside. Kagome smirked, he glanced at her,

"And you pup will eat and tell this Sesshomaru what plagues you so," Sesshomaru strongly. Kagome's smirk disappeared and was replaced by a frown,

"I am not hungry and it is none of your business, just leave me alone and lets get moving," Kagome grabbing her bag and her sword and walking out, Inuyasha was gone, Sesshomaru was walking out when a soul collector flew overhead, he noticed Kagome's sadness, she murmured something,

"Will I never find anyone that will love me back?" Kagome hanging her head, a clawed hand touched her shoulder, she turned her head but didn't look at him,

"Its fine Lord Sesshomaru, everyone deserves someone," Kagome walking away.

"Kagome, I promise you you'll have someone worthy of your love one day," Sesshomaru strongly, Kagome stopped and turned around, she stared at him,

"You will find what you look for once you stop searching for it, most of the time what you of the time what you are searching for is right in front of you," Sesshomaru lowly.

"Yeah, but nothing is lost," Kagome finding her friends coming out,

"Come on guys, lets just pick a direction and go, I don't feel any shards nearby so how about we go east?" Kagome asked everyone, they all agreed but she still had something plaguing her and Sesshomaru never let it go, he knew she would talk to him once she was ready or once she was ready or once the matter got too bad for her to handle, at least he hoped she would anyway.

* * *

**Three days later**

Kagome was feeling light head and worrying over her nightmare, she was so worried that when Sesshomaru abruptly stopped she ran into his back and fell on her ass. Sesshomaru helped her up,

"We will rest here, Sango take Kagome to the hot spring, its in the woods," Sesshomaru pointing out the direction, Sango nodded, Kagome and Sango walked off to the spring as Sesshomaru sat with Miroku.

"I shall look for some wood and start a fire, I believe Ms. Kagome is in need of food," Miroku concerned, Sesshomaru nodded,

"And monk, if you dare go to the spring while the women are there, you will be punished," Sesshomaru walking away to hunt. Miroku heeded the warning and went around gathering wood for the fire, Inuyasha still had not showed up, Kagome figured he was still off with Kikyo, and that was fine with her, there was something else more important that plagued her thoughts.

"Kagome, what is it that bothers you?" Sango seeing that Kagome was somewhere else other than trying to relax,

"Sango, I have to tell someone, I cant keep it in any longer, but you cant tell a soul, especially Sesshomaru," Kagome not sensing him anywhere.

"I will keep your secrets, you know I do anyway," Sango shrugged, Kagome whispered her secret in Sango's ear, Sango gasped,

"What you going to do?" Sango freaked out,

"I don't know but that's why you cant tell Sesshomaru," Kagome seriously.

"Of course not, it would hurt him even more, but Kagome, someone will have to…" Sango being interrupted,

"I know, I'll have to be the one to do it, Sesshomaru would be a mess if he had to, I will save him from having to do it," Kagome looking away.

"Kagome, this would destroy you too, I'll help you," Sango softly,

"That's the thing, I don't know if I can do it," Kagome crying,

"You'll have to, she could kill you and him, she is, she's already gone, you have to keep that in mind, you cant save her it wont be her, it will be evil, more evil than Kikyo," Sango seriously.

"But Sango, there would be a chance…" Kagome being interrupted,

"No Kagome, there is no life in her anymore," Sango feeling awful about the situation, Kagome had a big heart and didn't want anyone to get hurt but she was willing to take all the pain that this world threw at all her friends even Lord Sesshomaru.

"Kagome, I think you care a lot about Sesshomaru, maybe even love him," Sango coming to a conclusion. Kagome laughed,

"You have seriously lost your mind, yes I do care about him but only enough to call him a friend," Kagome seriously.

"But you do look at him as the alpha male in this group instead of Inuyasha right?" Sango asked,

"I would be an idiot if I didn't, Inuyasha treats me like I'm nothing, calling me names, sometimes I think he just uses me to find the jewel shards, and every time Kikyo comes around he leaves all of us to go to her, but Sesshomaru, he wouldn't ever leave us like that, he has honor and loyalty to those he trusts, and smarter," Kagome coming down out of the clouds. Sango giggled,

"What?" Kagome staring at Sango,

"Nothing, you do have a point though," Sango seriously. Kagome was thinking she did want someone smart, loyal, honor, and a gentleman, one who would open doors for her, she didn't care if he was rich or poor as long as he loved her and cared about her well being and Lord Sesshomaru seemed to fit most of the things she had listed, she blinked,

_~I'm being silly, he just cared for me because he couldn't let me die, not after all I had done for him.~ _Kagome thought to herself.

_~But he didn't have to do it, he could have let you die in that cave, after all Rin died.~ _her mind fighting back.

_~Rin wouldn't have it, she cared about me, he knew she wouldn't want me to die, he did it for her and he did it because he is an honorable male.~ _Kagome staring blankly at the water.

"Kagome, earth to Kagome!" Sango waving her hands, Kagome blinked,

"Sorry Sango," Kagome holding her head,

"You need to eat something, you need to keep your strength up in case this does happen, you need to prepare yourself for it," Sango getting out of the hot spring.

"Come on, I'm sure Sesshomaru and Miroku are working on food, I'll fix you some tea and it will help relax you," Sango giving Kagome a hand out of the hot spring. They dried off and walked back to the spot of where Sesshomaru deemed safe enough to rest, as Kagome neared the camp started smelling deer roasting, Miroku and Sesshomaru were actually talking to one another,

"Ah, my lovely Sango," Miroku standing quickly. Sesshomaru slowly stood and turned he stared at Kagome, she stared back at him, Sango had made her way over to Miroku. Kagome glanced at Miroku trying to grab Sango's ass, Sesshomaru glanced at them, he smirked when Sango backhanded him, he turned around and found Kagome staring down at her feet as she walked slowly over to the fire, she sat between Sango and Sesshomaru.

"You smell beautiful Sango," Miroku glancing at Sesshomaru,

"Um, thanks Miroku," Sango confused by his behavior. Kagome quietly ate her meat,

_~I know what that monk is trying to do, he is crazy if he thinks this Sesshomaru is in love with Kagome.~ _Sesshomaru thought, not missing the hint of sadness in her scent.

"You smell appeasing Lady Kagome," Sesshomaru lowly, Kagome abruptly stopped eating, she blushed,

"Thank you Lord Sesshomaru I was hoping my bath soap wasn't going to be messing with your strong sense of smell, but I didn't want to smell bad either, I like to be clean," Kagome glancing up at him.

"It does not mess my senses up, it's a hint of wildflowers and a spring rain that has drenched the cherry blossom trees, it's a calming aroma," Sesshomaru noticing the blushing of her cheeks.

"Well thank you," Kagome smirking, she knew he was trying to make her feel better, he couldn't possibly be giving her a compliment because he loved her or liked her in that way. She laughed a little and shook her head as she ate her lunch,

"I'm glad you like the scent, thank you guys for cooking and hunting," Kagome seriously. Sesshomaru simply nodded as Miroku smiled,

"Your more than welcome Kagome," Miroku eating.

"You will be riding Ah-Un for the rest of the day," Sesshomaru explained, Kagome nodded,

"Alright," Kagome figuring they could cover more ground that way. After lunch Lord Sesshomaru helped onto Ah-Un, he lingered by Kagome's side for a second and then pulled away and formed his cloud, Sesshomaru was up front followed by Kagome and Ah-Un and Sango and Miroku on Kilala. It started to grow dark and Kagome had fallen asleep on Ah-Un, Sango had a conversation with Miroku explaining to him Kagome was in love with Sesshomaru,

"Lord Sesshomaru cares a lot about our dear friend, I don't know if its love but I just think he doesn't know how to date a human, because if you think about it Lord Sesshomaru has had demonesses throw themselves at him, but this is Kagome, he knows she's pure and has such as caring soul, he might be afraid he'll hurt her, but he just doesn't know how to date a human," Miroku shrugged.

"You do have a point," Sango thinking, suddenly something swooped down low over Ah-Un causing Kagome to fall off of Ah-Un, it sounded like a child's laugh but more evil as it disappeared,

"No!" Kagome screamed out Sesshomaru appeared under Kagome and caught her.

"Everybody head for the cover of trees," Kagome freaking out, Sesshomaru stared at her,

"Please, trust me," Kagome eyes reading of fear.

"Do as she says," Sesshomaru leading the way, Ah-Un and Kilala followed, once they were safe in the cover of the woods. Sesshomaru was still holding Kagome in his arms,

"Kagome what is going on?" Sesshomaru stoically.

"Its Rin," Sango seriously, Sesshomaru glared at Sango,

"What? Rin is dead," Sesshomaru growled,

"Not anymore daddy," a sweet child's voice came signing out. Sesshomaru slowly turned around with Kagome in his arms, there stood Rin right in front of him,

"Its not her Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome whispered,

"I know," Sesshomaru stepping slowly back toward her friends,

"Daddy, don't listen to the bad lady that killed me," Rin stepping closer.

"Kagome did everything she could to try and save you, we both did," Sesshomaru seriously.

"Erect your barrier Kagome," Sesshomaru close enough to her friends to shield them as well, Kagome threw her barrier up right before Rin attacked them. The barrier sent her flying, Kagome buried her head into Sesshomaru's chest,

"This is what was bothering me this morning," Kagome mumbled, Sesshomaru glanced up,

"What is she?" Sesshomaru asked.

"She was made, just like Kikyo, from the soil and ashes of her own shrine, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," Kagome mumbled, Rin slowly got up and walked over to them.

"I will be back daddy and both of you will die for killing me," Rin running off, Kagome's barrier was so strong it was beginning to effect Lord Sesshomaru.

"Stop, let the barrier down," Sesshomaru shaking, Kagome quickly let it down, Sesshomaru got on Ah-Un and held onto Kagome,

"We will head for this Sesshomaru's home," Sesshomaru getting Ah-Un up and headed for the west.


	11. Kagome does the impossible

At Sesshomaru's Castle

"Milord, something happened…" one of his guards being interrupted by Sesshomaru clawed hand around his throat,

"I want to know who," Sesshomaru's eyes bleeding red, the guard shook,

"The woman on the feather," the guard choked out,

"Kagura," Sesshomaru dropping the guard, the maid had shown Sango and Miroku to their rooms, Kagome stood waiting for Sesshomaru to come in,

"Are you alright?" Sesshomaru putting his hand gently on her arm.

"I am, are you, I was just trying to protect you from you," Kagome sadly,

"I am fine, just a bit drained, why didn't you tell me?" Sesshomaru lifting her chin,

"I saw how it hurt you when I couldn't save her, I didn't want to tell you in fear of causing you pain, don't worry, I'll kill her, I don't want you to have her blood on your hands, well you know what I mean," Kagome strongly.

"Kagome, why would you do that for this Sesshomaru? This Sesshomaru saw how much pain you were in when she died, you were deeply effected by it just as well," Sesshomaru strongly.

"I don't want you to have it eat at you, because I care," Kagome softly,

"Kagome you have done enough for this Sesshomaru, you have endured enough suffering for him, its time he suffered a little for you, because he cares," Sesshomaru losing his footing. Kagome steadied him,

"Lets get you to bed, I'll have the maids send some dinner up to your chambers, you need to keep your strength up," Kagome helping him to his room. Kagome got him in his bed,

"Alright, I'll send the maids soon with dinner, I'll see if they have any more of that stuff to get you a good night's sleep, goodnight Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome walking away,

"Goodnight, Lady Kagome," Sesshomaru lowly.

_~Ah-ha, she saved you, so…~ _his beast waiting for him to say something,

_~It does not count, this Sesshomaru told her to erect her barrier.~ _Sesshomaru thought.

_~Like hell it doesn't count, alright, well what about the part she explained she would even kill the dead clay Rin for you because she wanted to save you from that kind of pain that would really eat at you, that has to count for something does it not?~ _his beast pointed out.

_~She cares for this Sesshomaru as a friend that is all, leave me be.~ _Sesshomaru growled. There was a knock on the door,

"Enter," Sesshomaru stoically announced, a healer came in,

"Milord, it seems as if we have more sleeping aid for you, I have brought some for you, Lady Kagome insisted on you drinking it," the healer explained.

"Leave it," Sesshomaru growled out,

"Yes milord," the healer quickly leaving, a few minutes later a maid came in with dinner,

"You may leave," Sesshomaru leaning back against the headboard of his bed. He ate his food and drank his sleeping aid and fell asleep under the aid of the sleeping herbs, Kagome's barrier had took a lot out of him. Meanwhile Kagome was thinking as she ate in the dining hall with her friends.

"Sango, Miroku, after we eat we need to leave," Kagome whispered,

"Why, what about Lord Sesshomaru?" Sango asked,

"Just leave with me and I'll tell you," Kagome seriously, Sango nodded,

"We are with you mama," Shippo strongly.

"Thanks guys," Kagome softly,

"Yeah, we could do anything for you Kags," Sango explained, after they ate they left the castle without Sesshomaru knowing, Kagome masked her scent so hopefully Sesshomaru could find them.

"Kags, why did we leave without Sesshomaru?" Sango asked,

"He said he would kill Rin, I really didn't want him to have her death on his hands, that's why we left," Kagome heading back toward Edo.

"So what are we going to do?" Miroku confused,

"We are heading back to Edo, hopefully Inuyasha is there, and we don't get attacked again by Rin getting to Edo," Kagome sighed, they traveled through the cover of the forest hoping they wouldn't be attacked.

Halfway to Edo

Kagome's friends and even her son had passed out on Kilala, Kagome felt her mokomoko grow tighter around her as if it were armor trying to protect her.

"What is it moko, I know you sense some kind of danger somewhere," Kagome whispered.

"Sango, Miroku, wake up!" Kagome strongly but softly,

"Huh, what is it? Kagome! Behind you!" Sango shouted. Kagome was rammed through the shoulder with a sword, but her mokomoko protected her, it shattered the sword but still the sword managed to wound her a little. She stumbled to the ground but flipped onto her back, she saw Sango's bone boomerang knock the little girl down.

_~Kagome, you have to remember, Rin is already dead, you must kill her!~_ her consciousness strongly explained to her, Kagome felt the hordes of demons coming for them,

"Sango, I got this, go fend off the rest," Kagome getting up.

"Right," Sango taking off on Kilala with Miroku and Shippo, Kagome felt another strong demonic aura,

_~Sesshomaru, no.~ _Kagome trying to hide her surprise that he had caught up to them. Rin smiled,

"This will be fun, I'll kill you Kagome and I'll kill you slowly so he can watch you suffer," Rin laughed out, she started walking toward the demonic power.

_~She is going to get Sesshomaru, no!~ _Kagome running after her, Sesshomaru was just landing in the open field, Rin broke into a run and was catching up to Sesshomaru.

_~Mokomoko, please help me have the strength to catch her.~ _Kagome thoughts cried out, the mokomoko transformed her into a pure full blooded Inu and she tore after Rin, Sesshomaru froze in shock of what had happened to Kagome, Rin was about to ram him with her other sword she carried when Kagome's large paw shredded the little girl's body. The little girl dropped to the open meadow floor and turned to ash and Kagome was left standing and panting, staring at the ash, she lifted her large inu nose to the sky, and let out such a sorrowful cry that Koga's wolf pack heard and let loose their own cries. With that her large inu body collapsed, Sesshomaru glanced her over,

_~She's hurt.~ _Sesshomaru thought seeing the wound between her shoulder blades. Slowly the inu turned back into Kagome, Sesshomaru bent down and tried to lick the wound close but it wasn't closing,

_~Miasma.~ _Sesshomaru thought as he picked her up.

"Lord Sesshomaru, Sango and Miroku… are in trouble," Kagome groaned,

"Kagome, you have been poisoned by the miasma, this Sesshomaru can not heal your wound," Sesshomaru holding her.

"Just help me," Kagome whispered. Sesshomaru looked at Ah-Un, he took her and placed her on the dragon's back,

"Take you to the healers," Sesshomaru order the dragons, they nodded and left. Sesshomaru stared at the dirt and ashes, he turned and flew off to help her friends.


	12. Always to love never to be loved

Kagome was resting, the healers had managed to drain the poison from Kagome's wound but it had been over a two hour process. Now she was lying naked on her stomach in her room at the castle, with blanket over her lower back leaving just enough of her back uncovered for the slow healing wound. Her friends had just returned with minor cuts and bruises, Kagome was bit drowsy still from everything that had happened, but she found Sesshomaru approaching her room. Slowly the door opened and shut, his very soft footsteps padded over to her bed,

"Your wound should heal nicely, pup, what in the hell were you thinking, leaving the castle when you and your pack were clearly in need of rest? And without this alpha male?" Sesshomaru stoically.

"I wanted to save you from having to do something you could have never done yourself, which was to destroy the puppet Naraku had made from her ashes, and I did that, I don't care if your mad, I just could not allow you to be in that kind of pain," Kagome softly.

"Thank you, for saving this Sesshomaru from that pain, he realized when he saw her he could never end her life, even if she was a mere puppet," Sesshomaru lowly.

"I didn't want to do it either but the only way I got through it was to tell myself that Rin was already dead and the only peace she would have is if I killed the puppet her body had become," Kagome's eyes leaking with tears. Sesshomaru gently wiped them away,

"You truly are a caring pure soul, and anyone would be proud and honored to be your mate," Sesshomaru kissing her forehead. Kagome blinked at him, she wondered if he was talking about him accepting her as a potential mate,

"You really think so?" Kagome seriously.

"You have a large impact on those who meet you, you will never be forgotten by any of them especially this Sesshomaru, he will always remember the acts you have done to help him and protect him," Sesshomaru seriously and strongly.

"You sound as if I am leaving or dying, I am not doing either of those things, I still have people and a demon to protect," Kagome smirking,

"This Sesshomaru just wanted to tell you before it was too late," Sesshomaru getting up.

"Oh, okay, Sesshomaru, I mean Lord…" Kagome being interrupted,

"You may call me Sesshomaru-sama, you have earned that right," Sesshomaru strongly.

"Um, thanks, you know, for everything, for taking me as your family, for mokomoko and the fanged sword, for all of it, for being here when I needed you the most," Kagome sitting up. Sesshomaru stared her down, he put a clawed finger under her chin, they slowly leaned in and kissed. Soft lips met soft chapped lips, just for a split moment, then Sesshomaru pulled away,

"This Sesshomaru gives you his word to always be there for you when you call, goodnight Lady Kagome," Sesshomaru walking away.

"Goodnight Lord Sesshomaru," Kagome in shock from the kiss, after he left she touched her chapped lips,

"Oh my," Kagome biting her lower lip, she could still taste the sweetness of his lips, gently she laid back down on her stomach,

_~I should stay, to keep him happy, and who knows, he acts like he even loves me, maybe he could be the one.~ _Kagome thought.

_~Kagome, no, be selfish for once, do what you want to do, go back to your time, go to college, get a good job, you could never make him happy.~ _her mind shouted.

_~I could try, I mean he did kiss me after all.~ _Kagome thought,

_~He kissed you in the heat of the moment or else he wouldn't have pulled away so fast, you are a human, you could never bare him presentable pups, they would all be half breeds, the things he hates.~ _her mind trying to make her see to reason. Kagome frowned,

_~I guess you are right, who was I trying to kid, I am just a pathetic human, I'll be lucky if I don't get killed by Naraku himself.~ _Kagome crying. She cried herself to sleep because she knew she had failed to try to make the stoic lord happy.

* * *

**A few weeks later**

Sango could tell something was upsetting Kagome,

"Kagome, what's wrong?" Sango confused,

"Sesshomaru kissed me," Kagome softly.

"Aww, really, when did it happened?" Sango excited for her,

"It was when he was upset with me for leaving him behind, while I was still healing from that wound," Kagome shrugged.

"You should be happy," Sango confused,

"I don't think he meant to though, I think it was just a moment that we had, it was so quick," Kagome touching her lips.

"It doesn't mean you didn't like it, you're even savoring that kiss right now, give him some time, he is a demon who detest humans, and he just lost Rin and then witnessed you killing a puppet that looked like Rin, he will come around," Sango strongly.

"That's just it Sango, I could never make him happy, not like a full blooded demoness can, I may be his 'pup' but I am not a full blooded demon, I would only be able to give him hanyou pups, and you know how he feels about half breeds," Kagome explained sadly.

"What do you mean his 'pup'?" Sango confused,

"We did a ceremony, we didn't exchange blood or anything, it was vows of protection and me accepting him as my alpha male, then giving gifts, and he placed the House of Moon crest in the middle of my forehead," Kagome pulling her hair out of the way of her forehead,

"I also still carry his poison in my body and he said it wasn't being purified, so I don't really understand it all, he talks in riddles," Kagome softly.

"Well you did turn into a dog form just like Sesshomaru's beast when you ran after that puppet, don't you remember?" Sango asked,

"Honestly, no," Kagome confused,

"Did you say if a human had experienced something so terrible that they wouldn't remember it happening?" Sango asked,

"Yeah," Kagome washing herself in the spring they were currently in.

"That's why you cant remember it, you still think it was Rin you killed and not a puppet," Sango stated,

"But how could I have killed a puppet that looked exactly like Rin," Kagome asked,

"Well, you were probably scared for your alpha male being harmed, or perhaps, you love him, either way you stopped her from reaching Lord Sesshomaru," Sango explained. Kagome shook her head,

"I cant love him, he would never love a pathetic human like me," Kagome whispered, Sango knew her sister and best friend wanted someone to love her, Inuyasha couldn't do that, and now she was in love with another that couldn't possibly love her back, was the kamis this cruel, were they getting their kicks off of her pain? Kagome washed her hair and got out, she slowly dried off and put her kimono back on, along with her sword and arrows, Sango was following her lead. Sesshomaru and Miroku had been chatting as well,

"So, I know its not my place but are you going to tell Kagome how you feel about her?" Miroku asked.

"I do not harbor any feelings for her, she is my pack member, this is not her era and she will return home after the jewel is collected and wished upon, if she does not, it may throw the balance off in both worlds," Sesshomaru stoically.

"What if the kami's actually sent her to you since you have not deemed any female, demoness or human as worthy as your mate?" Miroku seriously. Miroku had brought up a good point but the kami's would have had to have a very sick and twisted humor because Kagome was a human miko or so the group thought, and not just any miko but the Shikon No Tama protector just as Kikyo had been once. Sesshomaru snorted,

"If it is meant to be things will work itself out," Sesshomaru stated in a monotone voice. Miroku nodded, he knew he wouldn't get another word out of him, Kagome came back with Sango and ate dinner the two males had made, they hadn't ran into Inuyasha so they figured he was off with Kikyo somewhere, Kagome didn't really care anymore about him, they didn't have any jewel shards so they didn't need to be found. Sesshomaru and Kagome were still talking and caring for each other as alpha male and pup should but there was distance between them, but they knew not to try to rectify it, Kagome knew she couldn't bare him worthy pups and also knew she had to return home after everything was over, or the jewel would more than likely throw her back to her world, it was her fate, the fate that the kami's cursed her with, never to be happy or to be loved by who she had loved.


End file.
